Establishing A Daily Time With The Lord

Have you seen the movie, The Wedding Planner?

Do you remember one of the very first scenes in the movie where it shows Jlo coming home from work?  She lays things out for dinner, just so.  You can tell by her movements that she is careful to tend to every tiny detail in her world.  She cleans and tidies the house before bed.  Her world is a picture of perfect order.

That is me.

Well, that is the me buried under all the mismatched socks and Legos.  I have a constant tension of my natural bent and my reality.  And let me tell ya, things have derailed around here.

One look at the pictures tells the story of life run a muck.  Whatever it is that derails you, getting back up and getting back on track can be difficult.  It's like, when you pass a certain point, you kind of give up because you are not sure what to tackle first.

For us it has been a string of sickness.  As in off and on for twelve weeks.  I have personally taken a couple of the hits and the result of my absence in the home is explosions of stuff everywhere I turn.

Everywhere I turn I see messes.  Floors overrun.  Dressers spilling over, so full they will not even shut.

Everything feels like it holds a layer of sticky and I cannot get myself caught up.  I am barely keeping my head above the water.  Two weeks ago I raised my white flag.  Sent out an SOS in an exasperated prayer to the throne.  I was in such need of a place to retreat to on a daily basis. I needed to create a space to go that was one tiny corner of order in my world.  Some kind of constant something that even sickness could not touch.  The rest of the house could be falling down, but I needed to create a corner of this world that I could call my own.  Where I could create the beauty that would fill me up.

I put pen to paper and made my battle plan.  It was time to fight for change.  Here is the list of things I went through to bring myself to a better place:

• I realized that I HAD to figure out how to come to the throne room of grace every single day
• This meant I needed to create a space where I could mentally sit and be with Jesus
• I outlined a very simple plan of attack.  (wake, shower, prepare my room, show up)

This is my tent of meeting where I have been coming for eleven days straight to be with Jesus.  As you can tell from the pictures, we are still living in a pretty solid state of survival mode around here, but this space...this space right here, I have prepared the space and I have been coming and He has been meeting me right here in the middle of all my mess called life.

Make Room

When Jesus came the first time, there was no room for him.  I have been an unorganized mess lately.

Nothing is consistent.

Yesterday I raised my white flag.  Something had to change.

Order needed to be restored from my chaos.

I want to make room inside for the coming of Jesus this Christmas.  It isn't even Christmas shopping that has diverted my attention, I have bought nothing yet.  And that is not some super spiritual move on my part, it is just fallout from the mess of my days.

When I need to restore order, the first place I begin is with me.  I need a peaceful place to come and sit.  That is my bedroom, my haven I have created for myself.

Here's how yesterday went down (pre-white flag raising).  Got up late.  Every room was already scattered with bits of clutter here and there.  Felt behind.  Needed order.  Needed a calm place to sit and be with Jesus (hi, remember me Lord?).  So I timed myself.  Like, literally, timed myself. Getting ready feels like it takes 3 hours.  So I timed myself.  Turns out I can be ready in 45 minutes max.  It took 3 minutes to get the baby dressed for the day and her hair fixed.

I spent 10 minutes fluffing my bedroom.  I made my bed, turned on my lamps, picked up last night's clothes, ran a quick vacuum because lines complete me, lit my new Twisted Peppermint candle, turned on my Instrumental Christmas Pandora radio, got my Peppermint Mocha Creamer with a splash of coffee, and I locked myself in my bedroom.

The day started out behind and I took an hour to restore the order on the outside so that I could restore the order on the inside.  We have to know the truth about ourselves.  My truth is that I need order to rest. Chaos is so distracting for me.  And here is what I decided.  The rest of the house might be a dump, but my room is my space to keep just so, just how I like it.  It is my tiny space in this big world that is mine to retreat to.  It is my personal retreat space.  In a home shared with a lot of other people, I have made a space to go.  I have filled this room with beauty and it is one place I can create order to take the rest I need, both at night and throughout the day.

After I sat and admired the order of the room, I flipped open my Bible to this page.  Get up and prepare.  Dress yourself for work.

My life feels like one big sloppy bad habit.  There are so many sloppy areas to address it is hard to know where to start.  Life has piled up around me and buried me.  There are so many pieces to move so I can climb to freedom.  I look at the long road ahead, and I threaten to shut down and keep doing nothing. I threaten to keep living in this pile of defeat.

But I have to start SOMEWHERE.  So I choose to start here.  With this habit.  The habit of getting up, getting ready (even if it is just a shower and clothes with no pretty make-up and air dried hair). Getting up and dressed, making my bed, and taking the first moments of my day to sit with Jesus. It seems like order always starts in this place for me. With getting up and creating a space to meet with the Lord.

And sit I did.  I sat with Jesus and Exodus 33 and spent time thinking about how Joshua just wanted to linger in the presence of the Lord.  He did not want to go from His Presence.  And this is what I am asking from the Lord.  I am asking for big heaps of desire to linger in His Presence.  For an increase of the filling of the Holy Spirit in my life.  I want to wake up.

Make room.  Create a space.  Create your own Tent of Meeting to meet with Jesus and then come.

Make room.  Lord, make room in our hearts for more of you this Christmas season in Jesus name I pray.

Leaning Artwork

As I look around my house I notice a decorating approach I've used several times.  I've started leaning artwork and décor against the walls.  I like the way it gives a casual and laid back feel to the room.  It is super simple.  When I don't have the time or energy to find an anchor and a stud, I just prop the artwork against the wall and I am done.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to spruce up my mantle for spring.  It was so fun to take everything off of the mantle and pull out some brighter and cheerier things.  I leaned this pear painting against the wall and then leaned an old window on top of it.

I'd say the only drawback to leaning artwork is that it is not super stable.  One game of indoor football or Frisbee gone wrong and you could be left with a broken piece of art or maybe even an injury.

I've been thinking of this concept of leaning quite a bit.  Scripture tells me not to lean on my understanding of situations. I find that my nature leads me to do the opposite.  I end up relying on my insight into the situation as my first go-to. 

Instead of applying Scripture to my circumstance, often times I ignore what would ultimately bring me into a place of obedience and blessing because I've asked the wrong questions and placed my confidence in the wrong thing.

So how then is it possible to redirect the thoughts and place them in their rightful place?

It begins by stepping back and asking yourself one very important question.

 

What have I attached myself to in this situation? 

Is my focus on my disappointment?  Is it on the thing that is lacking?  Is it on my fear of moving into the direction I feel He is leading me?  Have I attached my thoughts to the fear that something new is going to fail me?

Fear keeps a life small.

Our little unspoken thoughts (as well as the spoken ones) can trip us up.  If our thoughts are leading us down any path other than the one that takes us to the trustworthiness of Jesus, then we can be sure we've attached ourselves to the wrong line of questioning and thinking.

Processing the new, processing what has already taken place, processing that new direction, all of these things should lead us to a different place.  Not to the place of our understanding of the situation but to the place of the reliability of Jesus.  He has a path marked for us, and we can be confident that He will make our path straight as we keep redirecting our focus towards Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Keeper

When I was a teenager I babysat kids to make a little extra money.  I have vivid memories of the hours between when the kids were in bed and when the parents came home.  The house was quiet.  It would be dark outside and the house would be dark, except for the dim light of a lamp or two and maybe the light above the oven or kitchen sink.

I'd sit on the couch, watching a TV show, and my eyes would grow so heavy.  I'd try my hardest to stay awake, but as the clock crept closer toward midnight, most of the time my eyes would doze.  I couldn't help it.  The later it got the more sleepy I'd get.  It was like the painful sleepy if you know what I mean.

I remember always feeling terribly guilty if I nodded off because I was the one in charge of watching the kids.  Even though they were in bed peacefully sleeping, no matter how late it was, I felt it was my job to stay awake.  And then, every once in awhile, I'd nod off on the couch.

He who keeps you will not slumber.

He doesn't sleep and He doesn't slumber.

We all get in bed at night and go to sleep.  We also all occasionally slumber.  To slumber is also to sleep, but more specifically it is to sleep lightly or doze. 

He who keeps you will neither slumber or sleep.

The Lord is your keeper.

You have a keeper and a helper and He is always watching and ready to help.

Psalm 121

The Crazy Train

The doctor stood at the podium as she shared about one evening standing at her kitchen sink looking out her window.  Her daughter sat at the table coloring as she looked out the window.  The neighbors were whizzing by on their way to this and that.  As she watched them going here and there, she wandered if they had made the right decision to scale back in an effort to be home more.

She called it getting off the crazy train.

"That is how everyone I know is living-in utter, busy chaos!"

excerpt from Own Your Life, Sally Clarkson

 

Several years ago, Shane and I got away to Amelia Island.  Looking at the pictures from the outside, it looks like the most dreamy scenario you could imagine.  Thick cut bacon, French toast, Eggs Benedict, coffee, and juice, all enjoyed while sitting in rocking chairs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

It was a restful, beautiful time away.  Everything about the Island brings us joy.  It is quiet and when we are there we sleep, read, walk around the charming downtown area, and eat the best foods this world has to offer.  We watch the sun rise and the sun set on water.

But there is something that you can't see from these pictures.  You can't see the turmoil that was going on inside of me during this trip.  It was probably the hardest time I've ever walked through.  It was a dark time.  It was the first time I understood what it felt like to feel anxiety on the inside.

  

 

We had stretched ourselves too thin and it was all coming undone around the edges.  Life had come crashing down and we found ourselves trying to dig out from a heap of rubble.  Having a life that was at peace felt like a million impossible miles away.

 

One look at our calendars told the story.  Every space was claimed for something or someone.  We were tired and worn down.  He was busy working for a growing church.  I was running a growing business while trying to homeschool our children and run the house.  We had no margin in our lives and we were so tired.

Little did we know that God was at work.  As I stared at plates of the finest delicacies, I could not even eat.  Something had to give.  The idea of letting something go put fear inside of me.  You know what though?  He was whispering the new thoughts.  I just kept shrugging them off because the new meant change and my earthly eyes couldn't map out exactly where the road might end up.

We sat still, read our Bibles, prayed and prayed some more.  Seeing the new plan unfold took longer than we wanted.  A good two to three years of seeking, praying and waiting.  In the end, He called us to get off the crazy train of too much.  The crazy train of too busy.

 

His mercies are new every morning.  The sun goes down and the sun rises and He is always there on His throne.  He's got plans for you and me.  In the years since this trip, the landscape of our life has changed drastically.  We are at peace.  We were asked to give up some very, very difficult things.  It was hard.  It was unsure.  We were scared.  And just like always, He has been here on the other side of the threshold of obedience.  And just like always, His hand of blessing and provision has been abundant.

 

When we are in the center of all He has asked of us, to the outside world it may seem like a lot-people may wonder how you do it-but He gives the grace, strength and energy to accomplish the tasks He has asked of us.  If you are crumbling under the weight of life today, it might be time to ask if perhaps He has something different in mind for the hours of your days.

 

Stay Here

I've always got some new idea brewing in the ol' hopper.

Us dreamer/creator types are funny like that.

Just this morning I was daydreaming about my next venture I've been thinking on.  I was feeling like I was ready to pounce on it and move forward.  That is, until I opened my Bible to my reading today, and these words caught my eyes.

You did not lack anything, did you?

It is enough.

I hate to be the burster of bubbles, but sometimes God tells us to stay put.  That where we are right now is enough.  That right here, today, we are exactly in the circle of His Desires for us.

It can be so tempting to jump on the hamster wheel and start spinning our wheels endlessly.  The promise of more this or more that can lure us in.

I only want to take opportunities that are mine.  I want to faithfully stay when He asks me to stay and likewise, I want to faithfully say yes when He says to move into the new.

This year He has called me to stay put.  Until March, I believe He has asked me to refrain from any type of commitments.  It has been hard a couple of times, especially when I get excited about some new opportunity, and yet in His Faithfulness He reminds me that being right where He has placed me is enough.

Coming Here

From time to time I get the rare gift of a quiet house.  A quiet house ranks right up there on my list of good things such as the smell of walking into Dillard's with the bright hope of a day of shopping ahead of me, Sunday afternoon naps, freshly mowed and edged lawns, mom's roast...all happy things.

This morning I was surprised with the unexpected gift.  The big boys were out running errands with Dad.  I was at home doing schoolwork with our youngest son when the garage door opened.  All the boys were invited to head up to the church to work.  The baby was napping.  I was already ready for the day.

I moved into action right away.  Candle, blanket, cup of goodness, Bible, pen, book, lamps.

This place right here?  No one brings me here.  Days can go by on end and no one is going to bring me here.  Other things feel urgent.  The laundry mounded high with stained clothes.  The empty cupboard that needs to be refilled.  The sink full of dishes that need scrubbing.  The floor that needs attention.  My every sticking step reminds me. 

But this?  If I don't purposefully bring myself here it does not happen.  Most days this time looks like my Bible spread open on the kitchen counter.  It looks like reading together with my crew first thing in the morning.  It looks like grabbing 5 or 10 minutes here or there.  Some days it looks like putting one single verse before my eyes to think on through out the day.

This place can be hard.  If I've been away for too long, it all feels hard and unfamiliar.  Proverbs is always my starting place when I open to dive in.  Sometimes I choose a book to read through.  In those times, that is my starting place.  I like the short books toward the end.  Those are good ones to spend a week or so in.

But old faithful is Proverbs.

Just opening and flipping to the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month.

This is my other old faithful.  Streams in the Desert.  Sometimes devotionals can be kind of hokey, but I find myself always coming back to this book.  It is jam packed with wisdom.

Coming here is what I was talking about yesterday.  Making yourself go to the places that refresh you.  Yesterday my one verse I prayed through all day was simple and easy for me to remember.  "Please help us grow in grace and knowledge of you."  All day long I prayed that over myself.  Over Shane.  Over each child.  Over the members of our church family.  It was one simple request that was the focus of my attention.

Be encouraged if coming here is a struggle for you.  The more time you spend here and the more time you spend cultivating this habit the easier it becomes.

Sabbatical

We are back from taking the month of October off.  Because Shane has served at our church for 10 years, he was given a one month sabbatical.  What a huge blessing and opportunity that was for our family.

I'd been praying for this month for a couple of years now.

It was such an extended chunk of time that I didn't want to squander. 

Every once in awhile I pray and ask God to extravagantly bless us in His Presence.  To reveal Himself to us.  Like when I go to a women's retreat I usually ask this of God.  Not a material request, but I have this clear picture of being able to feast on the riches at his table.  I think about my favorite table-my Mom's Thanksgiving table.  It is just the best thing I can think of.  It is lined with pretty linens, plates, glasses, candles, and all of my favorite holiday foods.  It is an extravagant table.  So I had been asking if God would bless us extravagantly and let us feast from His Table during our month off.

Goodness.  He answered in such sweet ways.  It is hard to put into words the beautiful time we had together.  We reconnected as a family and were refreshed in every way.  When yesterday morning came we were are all ready to jump back into real life.  He blessed us with a spirit of joy and days filled with laughter.  I can't think of too much better than that.

Sunday was a joy as we gathered together to worship with our church family.  We feel so incredibly blessed to serve and do life with the people we've been surrounded with.

One morning near the end of our time, I sat on a dock by the water at sunrise, reflecting on the last ten years.  I committed the next ten years into His Hands and cannot wait to see what it holds.

"Lord, teach me to order my days so that I can present a heart of wisdom to you"